Bad dad: A few examples to make you feel better

Parenting is a long game. You never know how what you might say or do today could affect your kids in the future. It’s a little like investing in the stock market; if you do your homework and have a little patience, you’ll probably see some dividends, but if you act erratically, you’re liable to lose it all. 

On the other hand, I’ve known folks who’ve seemingly done everything right and gone broke, while others have flown by the seat of their pants and made bank. To cut a long story short, it’s hard to tell if you’re being a good parent at the moment. 

I consider myself a pretty good father, especially in my stay-at-home days. There was boundless fun to be had, all while being the master of my domain. The world doesn’t stand still, and everything is destined to change. Kids get older and develop their own personalities and interests. Parents must adapt and change strategies. Babies are easy to take care of. Kids, a little bit harder, and I’m only about halfway through raising my brood (we haven’t hit the teenager stage yet), though I know you’re never finished being a parent as long as you are breathing. 

Recently doubt has begun to creep into my mind. Am I a good father? Am I raising my kids right? Am I only fueling disorders that will be discussed on the therapist’s couch one day? I once read that the hardest part of parenting was the sheer uncertainty of it. Ain’t it the truth?

These feelings are normal, and certainly other parents have had such thoughts during their lives, but that doesn’t make it easier. But do you know what does? Concrete examples of bad fathering. This idea came to me while watching Star Wars. In the classic George Lucas film “The Empire Strikes Back,” the villain Darth Vader reveals that he is the hero Luke Skywalker’s father. Everyone knows the famous scene, even if they’ve never seen the Star Wars movies. 

Before the big twist is revealed, Vader has chopped off his son’s hand and has him dangling for his life above a hole to certain death in outer space. If that’s not bad parenting I don’t know what is. 

Yes, that is a make-believe example, but there are several models of bad dads in world history to illustrate my point. So, without further ado, here are a few:

Despite his name, Peter the Great was a jerk to his son. The first emperor of Russia didn’t see eye to eye with his offspring, who he thought would rally his political adversaries. When forced to fight for the right to rule, his son fled the country. When he returned in hope of reconciliation, Peter had his flesh and blood tortured and killed. 

There’s no doubt that Henry VIII was terrible to his wives. He did create religious upheaval just so he could get divorced, but he was equally horrible to his daughters. He declared them illegitimate and stripped them of any royal rights while imprisoning and executing their mothers. The joke was on him, however, as his daughter would rule after his death because he never had a son. It was not a pretty time in English history. 

For a more modern example, one of the greatest talents in modern American history was murdered by his own dad. Motown legend Marvin Gaye was shot and killed by his drug addict father, who made his family suffer through a lifetime of abuse. 

Those are just three of the worst fathers history has ever known. There are plenty more. And to be completely honest, I’m starting to feel a little better about myself.

You can reach Kyle Dominy at k.l.dominy@gmail.com or write to 115 South Jefferson St. Dublin, Ga. 31021.