It is so cold outside, I wrote this column

Lately, it has been way too cold for my comfort in our little town. I am reminded of Johnny Carson jokes when he would say, “It’s so cold out there,” which prompted his buddy, Ed McMahon, to reply, “How cold is it?” 

Now, I’ll admit that most of my memories of Carson came from the VCR tapes my father or uncle purchased about the late-great night time host. It was not until I was in high school did I venture to stay up that late. Even now, if I want to watch a late night TV show, I will record it to watch later. I am not ashamed to admit I choose to go to bed early. My phone wakes me up early every morning (except for some Saturdays when I do not have much going on).

But back to Carson. One of his so cold jokes went: “It’s so cold outside my teeth are chattering. And I’m not even wearing them.” Another goes, “It’s so cold out, I had to pry a dog off my hubcap before I could leave.”

It is easy to remember this type of great humor when you have to get out into this cold-winter season weather. I know there are many who like this weather and like the cold. That is fine. We all have opinions and thoughts.

At one time, the cold did not bother me. I can recall playing a pick-up game of football in the neighborhood, usually at a house where the parents were not there, so we could tackle each other. If a parent or guardian was there, we, of course, played two-hand touch. But we always preferred tackle. Even if the ground caused the fumble, we would all jump on the ball and create one big bundle of bodies.

When I was younger, playing football in the cold was nothing. Many of my friends would play in short sleeves. I liked to wear a jacket with a hood. In fact, once, while playing the illegal tackle version, a friend grabbed a hold of the back of my jacket to stop me from advancing the ball. I unzipped my jacket and left him holding it as I ran down the field. Everyone was laughing and they let the touchdown stand even though that would never happen in a real football game.

I can recall playing football or even going into the woods on cold days. I like seeing my breath flow out from my mouth as my brother and I tramped through the woods behind our grandparent’s house.

But that was then, and now is – well now. I am older and wiser. I want to stay inside where it is warm and make my trips outside as infrequent as possible.

I am okay with one snow event every so often. What we had in January of 2025 was fine. Honestly, what we had on Jan. 18 was even better. It snowed that morning, and by the afternoon, the sun came out and melted everything away.

The threat of an ice storm, which thankfully stayed north of us, and the chance for maybe some snow last weekend is too much. I know we need the winter to take out the insects and there are many reasons these colder temperatures improve our lives.

But, I still do not like the cold, especially when it drops below freezing. When it is that cold, we have to drip faucets. Also, it is better to let your vehicle warm up some before dropping it into drive and pulling out on the road. If you are running late, you will either have to just go or be even further late to wherever it is you are heading.

Working on Saint Patrick’s event stories kind of warms me up, because I know it will more than likely be warmer then. After all, I – like all of us here – live in the south. I, along with my wife, choose this part of the state because it is warm. If I wanted to live where it would snow every year and have us shivering at nights, we would move north.

The only time I love the cold is eating ice cream, a milkshake or dropping ice into a glass of sweet tea. But it is okay. Thankfully, we naturally have more warmer weather here in the Peach State than we do cold. And when the temperatures do warm up again, it will mean that I will not have to worry about dripping my faucet every night.