New Southern Dad: What’s the appropriate age to learn to gamble?

Gambling is one of the greatest things a person can do – if you are good at it. 

Before you hit me with any objections, remember that gambling is in the Bible. Remember how the Apostles replaced the traitor Judas? By casting lots. That’s gambling. 

Of course, like all good things, there are some downsides, especially if you don’t know when to stop. I’ve read about a laboratory out in Las Vegas dedicated to making games, particularly slot machines, more addicting. The machines are being programmed to give the users just enough dopamine, through intermittent wins, to keep players in the chair. Few, if any, come out winners, but the urge to feed the machine coin after coin, dollar after dollar, only grows.

The same research now goes into mobile gaming. That new, recently downloaded app is programmed to get and keep your attention, feeding you little bursts of excitement, but stealing not your money but time and most likely personal data. Social media companies work under the same premise.

The key to being a good gambler is knowing who you are up against. I spent a little time in Vegas several years ago and quickly learned who was boss. After a couple of hands of Texas Hold ‘Em, a few spins of the roulette wheel and a couple of pulls on the slot machine, my spending money was gone. I got very little dopamine in return. I left the city with lighter pockets but with all my fingers and both kneecaps intact. 

Much of my younger days were spent in some kind of wager. I played more cards and flipped more quarters in high school than I ever cracked open a book. In hindsight I’d change that if I had the chance, though the alternative wouldn’t be as much fun. Winning came a little easier back then. 

I used to be pretty good with a deck of cards. I probably should have put that effort toward learning advanced math, or at least counting cards. They made it look so easy in “Rain Man.” Then again, my fingers and kneecaps might not have survived. 

Responsible family life doesn’t leave much time for gambling excursions, and the budget certainly doesn’t allow for it. Most certainly not when everybody needs glasses and braces and money for extracurricular activities.

The kids have been playing some poker game on their tablet, and I’m wondering if now is the time to break out a deck of Bicycles, see if the ol’ hands (with fingers intact) still have the dexterity to shuffle and deal out a hand or two. Instead of them being addicted to the screen, let’s bring the action into the real world.

In fact, let’s make it interesting, put a little money on the table. I know they’re holding some spare birthday cash. Is it wrong to teach children to gamble?

I bet so, because I’m sure I would lose. 

You can reach Kyle Dominy at k.l.dominy@gmail.com or write to 115 South Jefferson St. Dublin, Ga. 31022.