Who touched the thermostat? My dad-sense is tingling

 In the long-running, ever-popular Spider-Man franchise, now a massive catalog of comics, cartoons and movies, the titular character has a unique ability. Yes Peter Parker, the mild-mannered teen turned superhero by the bite of a radioactive arachnid, has a lot of powers, but one stands out above the rest. 

Dubbed the spider-sense, Spider-Man has the capacity to discern when something is about to go awry or that danger is afoot. He uses this skill to help those in need, whether it is saving a pedestrian from a runaway truck or confronting his nemesis Dr. Octopus. This knack for being at the right place at the right time no matter the crisis earned him the nickname “friendly neighborhood Spider-Man.”

I wish I could say that I had such premonitions. It would be nice to know how and when I could help someone in need. I’ve yet to encounter a radioactive spider though. The ones that have bitten me have only left swollen, itchy welts. And that is a terrible superpower. 

However, I do have a peculiar sense that I can boast about. I know when someone has touched the thermostat. Being the mindful keeper of my kingdom that I am, I’m always conscious of ways to conserve resources, therefore saving money. Maintaining strict climate control regulations is one of those ways. The people in my charge, that means my wife and children, don’t always agree with my temperature choices, especially now that it’s getting hotter outside. 

Now don’t think I’m too extreme. I’m not one of those people who is too stingy to run the air conditioner, but I’m also not hanging a side of beef in my living room. When someone reaches for the control panel mounted in my living room, I get a tingling sensation in the back of my skull. Long before a finger makes contact with the screen, I’m shouting across the house things like: “Money don’t grow on trees!” or “If you’re hot, go outside for a while and come back in! It’ll feel cold in here!”

How did I get these powers, you ask? It comes with having kids. I’ve never met a father who didn’t know when his thermostat had been tampered with. If you live in a subdivision, sometimes the waves get crossed and you get the urge to run next door to check the temperature. 

Other dad powers include knowing that lights are left on in unoccupied rooms, sensing that the front door has been left ajar and the refrigerator door is cracked open. Those kilowatts ain’t free people. Just imagine how many dollars have been saved and how much energy has been conserved by the brotherhood of strict dads. You think the world is in trouble now, we could be living in utter chaos.

Mark Twain famously quipped (or was it Charles Dudley Warner? No one really knows) “Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it.” 

I’m trying to, but quit playing with the thermostat.  

You can reach Kyle Dominy at k.l.dominy@gmail.com or write to 115 South Jefferson St. Dublin, Ga. 31021.